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Saturday, June 11, 2005


The band my friends and I have started, Accidental Pollinator, finally got its own livejournal community. The only thing up so far are some lyrics that are all WiPs. Once we get the software the community will have snippets of the music and eventually of some completed songs. Because we are far too lazy right now to make a website. Do check it out, we need critique.

Saturday, August 28, 2004


OMG!!!!!!!!!!!1 hay evry1...im totaly here 4 gud now!!!!! rnt u xsited or sumthin?

Current mood: excited

Tuesday, August 17, 2004


When I was young, the world was run by very capable, all-knowing adults who knew exactly what was going to happen. Only a few adults belonged to this group, but I KNEW they were out there, and that they intended to kill me and ruin everything. My parents were not in this group, so I knew I had no special dispensation: orange and black rain would fall on me, too.
Nowadays, I know that this is not true. No one runs the world. No one knows what's going to happen, and no one wants to kill me. So the mysteriously hateful people of my younger days are no longer present to stand trial for their crimes. I am left alone in a world of bumbling short-sighted local power-lord boobs trying to remember how to connect the detonator to the warhead.
No one can ever tell me why they wanted to kill me, because they don't exist in this more real world I now live in. I'll never know. And even I have betrayed the 14-year-old I was who dreamed of orange-black strobing disaster beyond all imagining because I have given up believing that I will be destroyed. He's left with an angry
expression on his face and a weak upper lip and no one will ever apologize.

Current mood: gloomy

4:11PM - Uh-oh... =O

...looks like I've JOINED.

Current mood: hungry

Friday, August 13, 2004


The guaranteed, absolute conviction that every thread of the fabric of society and technology would SOON be torn and twisted beyond all hope of repair. The blast wouldn't kill me, I'd be murdered by roving gangs while freezing to death in the Minnesota winter. No penicillin. No transport. No food. No knowledge of how the pioneers did it.

Now, of course, I know better. People and knowledge are much more resilient than that. But back then... I felt as though I was living in an unnecessary ritual, at best, and a cruel ceremony at worst. Empty motions before the sky falls. Why bother? Shouldn't we be trying to move to Switzerland?

Admittedly, I had too much alone time on my hands when I was young to sit and think about this.

Current mood: indescribable

9:44AM - The Soul Reaver

Daniel, if you didn't know, there has been a thread at United Cutlery (they made a LOT of the licensed LOTR weapons) requesting that they make a replica of the Soul Reaver. There were almost 200 pages of requests before UC finally resonded. They said that they would look into making an actual Soul Reaver! The UC forum site was hacked a while back and the entire thread was lost, but someone started it back up. Here's the link to where the new thread started and UC replied:

Current mood: optimistic

Thursday, August 12, 2004


"Take one hundred scientists or more. Place in a room and lock the door. Let them confer for half their lives. Unlock the door, go in and see what they have made for you and me. A brand new toy to Idolize."
Bunch of goofy nice scientist guys. Cute affected smiles and shy manners. Nice Jewish and Catholic boys. "Gee-whiz, look what we did. We could build electric plants out of this. The bomb's just a toy!" If we can do it, do it. Hack the atom.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004


Heaven 17 had a song on their first album I REALLY loved: "Let's All Make A Bomb". It made me so happy. I mean REALLY happy. The line "Although the war has just begun, ignore the sirens let's have fun" made me feel calm and warm and good. Knowing what I know now about music, I realize why, god damn it! To hear one's own twisted truths echoed in the world, in other people... it's what we all want.

Current mood: cheerful

Tuesday, August 10, 2004


Why would anyone want to kill me? I asked myself. I was too smart to believe that they were "bad", or "monsters". Unfortunately for my peace of mind, I concluded that there must be a reason.
All the adults in the world, who managed to run all this great stuff like TV and the State Fair had this gap in their functioning that made them make these bombs and threaten to use them. Any day now. Just you wait. Good night. Gotta get your sleep for school tomorrow.

Current mood: contemplative

Monday, August 9, 2004


ozar_midrashim's LJ stalker is vic_mackey!
vic_mackey is stalking you because a little birdie told them you talked behind their back. They are also stalking you in real life. Look out!

LiveJournal Username:

LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com

Current mood: scared


The most striking attribute of the dreams is that the actual event, the explosion, is very unimportant to the dream, usually absent altogether. There is no buildup; No sirens or dread or fear. There is a "strike moment" as I call them in my dreams, and then the world-eating realization that all is lost, that EVERYTHING WILL BE BAD NOW FOREVER. There was once a brilliant orange and black strobing flash for a few "seconds", during which I stumbled backwards over a log, near a lake. Then I knew that everything was bad, and would always be bad, forever.

Current mood: melancholy

Friday, August 6, 2004


I'm 32, and so I got the worst of it: I was born too late to be part of the group for whom nuclear strikes and radiation were just the newest new-fangled gee-whiz stuff our boys down at the lab cooked up, the group that associated it with winning the war against the foreign oppressors. I was born too early to be part of the newer group for whom there exist nuclear weapons, of course, but there's no real reason to think that anyone intends to use them anytime in the
forseeable future. I'm in the group who had dreams.

Current mood: hopeful

Thursday, August 5, 2004

11:28PM - I'm new!

w00t! Daniel rocks! He posted in the guestbook of a Raziel shrine that my ex-friend and I use to run.


I'm so angry.
I'm angry that I spent my entire childhood living with a model of the world that included a dark trap at the end of the tunnel. At other times it seemed to be a threatening leering sort of clown-colored blow ready to fall on my world at any moment. Yes, it had a color, as surely as Tuesday is blue, Thursday is more of a purple-blue and Monday is yellow, the threat had a color: Bright orange with strobing black shadows.

Current mood: angry

Monday, August 2, 2004


Welcome back Daniel. We wondered where you were!

Current mood: relieved

Friday, July 30, 2004

10:52AM - Jesus is coming....look busy!

Daniel is slated for return tomorrow, August 1st. He is supposed to come late that night, although this may change. If we want to have a party at his house before he returns, I suggest having it either tonight (Friday) or early Saturday.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

10:41AM - I love Carl

Best shirt ever

Current mood: happy

10:10AM - I have arrived

Hey, I'm here! I'm online! I'm on the internet!
Go Daniel!


Tag me, you're it!

Current mood: excited

Tuesday, July 6, 2004


I honestly cannot believe that daniel made a community and filled it with fake screen names. Why am I friends with these people?

1:42PM - Hold the Red Star proudly high in hand

My shirts finally came in!

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